As I lay here waiting, I'm thinking about how every time I have a job interview I prepare for what I think might be asked and then I'm asked something totally off the wall. I never know and it's just becoming annoying being asked, "describe yourself in three words." Totally awesome teacher!!! That's three words! No, they don't want hear that, they want adjectives that, while you're coming up with evoke many teaching situations that totally contradict what is coming out of your mouth. I don't know how many times I have come up with these lists only to forget them. I know that I can teach, doesn't that count for anything? I made it through college, doesn't that count as well? No, they want to know what I would do if a student refused to sit down, I would make him stand in the corner that's what I would do...just kidding or am I? I know certain scenarios usually need clarification, I really don't know what I would do because NO ONE will give me an OPPORTUNITY to find out!
When I was in college, I didn't venture into a classroom by myself, there was always a teacher there. She was in charge and ran the show. I was a "helper" who got to observe and sometimes teach a lesson. Yes I was learning but I was not in charge. So if a situation arose she would handle it. I was free to wander the classroom and chat or point out that that dog only has three legs. Fast forward to the end of the semester, students gave me cards and hugs and promised to write but I usually never heard a peep from them. When college is done that's when the fun begins.
I student taught at a school that was perfect. I had a wonderful mentor and the staff was top notch! I enjoyed my student teaching. I didn't feel stressed, I worked but not too hard and a made great friends. I learned that teaching is a fulfilling career that doesn't have to consume your life. I learned that planning was my best friend and that organization was not my cup of tea. I feel like what I learned in my college classes that prepared me for teaching left out that as the teacher you have to "get kids to sit down" or "choose to abandon a poor lesson even if it is all you have." They don't tell you that kids are people and have agendas of their own. But you learn!
Back to the school, I did my time and passed with flying colors! Loved every minute of it. So when it came time to apply for a job I hesitated. I didn't feel that I had what it took. That next year I was ready, so I applied for a job there. I didn't get a call. No worries, I applied again, it was a part time position but a position. I didn't get it. So I applied again but this time for two jobs and guess what I got a call (I did stalk the principal a little bit). I go to my interview and it's all my friend and teammates from previous years. I started sweating, my mouth went dry, my hands were all clammy and every word that came out of my mouth had nothing to do with what they were asking. Here I am at "MY" school and I was failing miserably. Needless to say, I didn't get the job.
So every time a position opens up I apply. I email all the right people and advertise myself. I play up that I have personal connections to the school and how I'm familiar with the staff and students. I don't get called. I just can't get another interview. This last time I applied, I was so disappointed that all I received from the school was a generic district response that I was not chosen. I was crushed. It was literally the straw that broke the camel's back. I was done there! My husband said that I needed to give up on my dream of working there and look elsewhere. So I did.
I applied at other schools. I got interviews in other districts. But no jobs. I scoured the websites for job postings and applied for every single job that was available and required a warm body. One day I stumbled upon a job listing for MY school and I painstakingly applied. I couldn't help myself. I figure that if I don't apply for the job, the heavens are going to open up, God will come down and slap me in the face and say, "this was your job, fool!"
Well today I got that call! I have an interview tomorrow. I have been back and forth with "they just called because they're tired of seeing your name on every job opening" and "sure I'm a good candidate for the position and why not with all the connections I have at the school." But some where in the back of mind all I can think about is, "what if I don't get?" How will that effect my moral? Rejection is all I have received from MY school when will I receive a position. I guess in a way I feel "entitled" to some favoritism. Did I not volunteer and sub all those hours for those that called on my at short notice? Yes, yes I did!!
Tomorrow my friends I will give it my all again. To a school that I would love to teach at but I have not quite made it there yet. I know that the right job will come along and I will be where I'm supposed to be but what if it's not at MY school? Then what? I will make new friend and play nice with the kids just the same but I know that it won't be MY school.
Well, here's to me and MY school, may we united or part ways, which ever the course let it be a happy one!!!
Just came across your blog today, and I identified so much with your post!
ReplyDeleteShortly after I began my student teaching, I hated it. I had such a hard time teaching in someone else's room and knowing how to even teach. I ended up loving it though and had a great experience. I also had a perfect student teaching experience in an amazing school with a wonderfully supportive staff who got along so well, and students who were basically on grade level or above, and no major behavior issues.
When it came time to apply for jobs, I was definitely scared that I didn't really know much of anything. I knew a lot, but did I really know what I needed to know? I attended college hours away from home in a very rural area. After college, I really wanted to move to a more suburban area. I applied all over the state and finally was hired one week before school began in a suburban area. Talk about a rush of a week. My first year was in a mobile unit with a first year assistant from another state! And it was the complete opposite experience of my student teaching. I had a class full of many students WAY below grade level (who should have never been passed on - they were that behind) with lots of behavior issues. I also had five students who were not exactly proficient in English. I rarely ever saw administrators unless they popped in to observe. They always popped in to observe me a day or two before assessments! It was SO much pressure. Unbeknownst to me, the school had struggled with low test scores previously and just had many staff issues.
Within a week in, I knew it was not the right place for me. When I went in for my interview it seemed like a great place, but once I was in, it was a different world. I had very little support, and I was handed binders full of previous county quarterly assessments to teach math and reading with. What was expected of students was crazy. They need to learn 8+2 instead of "If you have 13 snowmen and 1/2 are wearing gloves and 1/4 are wearing hats, how many are wearing gloves and how many are wearing hats?". I had kids who took the reading assessments (read four short stories and answer five questions about each), and I had two kids who couldn't differentiate between the stories and the questions. I had a child who had major social issues and would scream (at the top of their lungs - so loud I had staff inside the school call to see if everything was ok!) if they had to cut or color. What in the world do I do? I was SO lost!
I was so unprepared. What I learned in college really had nothing to do with what I experienced during my first year. I would LOVE to go back to my college now and speak in classes about what these upcoming-teachers really need to know and be aware of. Guided reading, testing/assessment pressure, parent involvement, behavior, etc. was never taught to me in college.
The whole experience really beat me down. I left after my first year. I learned so much though about what teaching is really about and all those things I never knew before actually getting in and teaching.
Good luck with your interview! I hope you get in at the school you want. I applied everywhere during my first year, and it's honestly best to try to work where you have been before. Just use the time you've had to prepare, and it will be fine! If you ever have any questions about interviewing/teaching, please feel free to get in touch with me! I'm no expert, but having went through it, I'd be so happy to offer any advice or just listen. I've been there before, so I totally get it!