Life!

I guess I could entitle all my posts with the title, "Life" because, let's face it, stuff happens!  I have just been plug'n along because what else can you do when jobs are scarce and you have vanity issues that are expensive.  I travel a lot for my job (as a sub) and find myself in strange schools, in classrooms with strange kids and teachers who don't quite know how to deal with me.  I go to a school this week, which I haven't been to in awhile and ran into a principal that I worked with (as a volunteer not doubt) and said, "hi," and went about my day.  I catch up with him later and he hands me a card and says, "email with your cell number so we can chat."  I'm like either he wants me to volunteer again or he's gonna offer me a job.  So I email him but didn't get a call.  Now, I'm thinkin' that either he didn't get the message or he just forgot.  I was contemplating email him again and asking, "did you get my email or what?" But I refrained and...actually I just forgot (life remember?).  Well, I've been having computer issues lately, my computer doesn't want to do what I want it to.  I guess computer programing is something I'm gonna have to pick up a degree in after all.  Anywho, I kept checking my email because I'm waiting for the email that says, "you have a rich relative and he's leaving you all his money," and low and behold there it is, the very email that I need that states, "I may have a long-term sub position you would be perfect for."  Hooray!!! Praise Jesus, I might actually have a job in the spring. 

For those of you that don't know, substitute teaching is not considered experience in the world of teaching.  Yes, you do exactly what a teacher does, TEACH, but you don't have all the headache.  I mean, I don't plan the lessons or worry about assessments but I do wrangle students to the floor and I do tie shoes, wipe noses and attend recess just like a regular teacher.  You have to be licensed to sub and why, heck, I've got experiences that would make a blind man see!  But, alas I can only put on my resume that I have a JOB not a teaching experience.  What a shame because I have some great stories and experience that will help me when I do have my own classroom.  I should also note that I don't even get paid a lot of money.  I'm barely able to get my nails done now a days.  (I let my two days a week at the mega-store pay for my hair...oh wait! My husband does that, never mind I spend that on food or makeup which ever I need at the moment.)

We were talking about life...well now my little life is complete.  Right? No, not yet but it getting there.  I should put in my plug for this evenings entertainment, which requires me to be out after midnight until about 2 am.  I'm not gonna be a happy camper tomorrow since I have to work...AT MY SCHOOL which I call HOME!  I interviewed with them again, (I don't know if I mentioned that) but I didn't get the job.  That's ok I'm pretty sure that I'm gonna have to look else where to find a new home. :(

This life stuff is not as fun as it used to be and I can really tell that I'm getting a little cynical. I'm starting to view life as a chore and I don't like that. I notice that my students are a tuned to my attitude (they can also smell fear) and react.  I try to put on a brave face but some days I just want to sit behind the desk and let them run amuck! I'm not the real teacher there so why should I worry about their educations, right?  Wrong!!! That's not how this sub rolls! We work and we get things done.  No matter how miserable I am I can't just let myself be oblivious to what's going on in the classroom.  I have to try to give students some education. I mean, I'm there why not make the best of it. Why not teach those rugrats something, ANYTHING that will get them to college or the White House. (Yes, I do think highly of myself.)  But then there is life!

Life has a way of sucking the air out of your lungs and leaving you feeling like your life is hanging in the balance.  I think everyone has those moments.  The thing is I keep having them.  I wonder if this is a test of MY emergency broadcast system.  I need this because too long have I been complacent in my own life.  It's not like I'm a slacker or anything I just think maybe there is more that I could do.  But my heart is in teaching, what else could I do?  I don't want to venture down that road because I know that my anal-retentive personality could work for a company that pays its employees and offers incentives like heath insurance. No, I want to teach! And now were back to just plain ol' Life!